


The Practical Mer’s Guide on How to Seduce Your Human Lover

by japansace



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Fluff, Human Katsuki Yuuri, Humor, M/M, Meet-Cute, Mermaid Victor Nikiforov, Mermaids, idk the world kind of sucks rn, so here's a soft mer AU where everything's beautiful and nothing hurts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:48:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24186151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/japansace/pseuds/japansace
Summary: Victor has his sights set on a certain human, and he's willing to do whatever it takes to win him over.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 71
Kudos: 317





	The Practical Mer’s Guide on How to Seduce Your Human Lover

**Author's Note:**

> Me: *writes some soft, inconsequential fluff because I finally finished my grad thesis, and I needed a palette cleanser, okay?*

Victor doesn’t understand humans _at all._

The one he’s had an eye on for some time has had eyes for him too, he’s sure. The human is always stalking the beach, kicking around sand and sitting in the shade, as though waiting for something. But when Victor—the _something_ —appears, he always goes sheepish, dashing off farther inland where Victor can’t follow. And that just won’t do at all, now will it?

So Victor has decided to take a more obvious approach.

He’s brought rocks to the human: soft, smooth ones from the mouth of the river; pebbled white ones that drag deliciously across the skin; even ones of pinks and blues, shiny pieces from deep down where Victor has had to dig for them, tearing at the ocean floor with his claws. None of these seem to impress the human, however. Victor leaves them as far up the beach as he can go, and the human always ignores them.

Like they’re _nothing._ Like Victor’s just wasting his time.

And then Victor will lie on the sand and preen for the human—which is an _honor_ , and the human should _very well know this._ He’ll raise his gills far out as they’ll go, showing off the sheen of them, and lift his tail up from out of the water to whip it back and forth, letting the scales gleam and glisten in the midday sun. He’ll feign a stretch upon a rock—pretending not to see the human, as he walks towards him from down the shore—to display the patterns on his lower back, the force of his muscles as he pitches forward, the sinew bunching in his upper arms from beneath his alabaster skin.

Doesn’t the human see how _virile_ he is? How strong and healthy their guppies would be?

Perhaps it is he who is in the wrong, Victor thinks. Perhaps _he_ is the bad judge of character, if he has truly picked a human as thick in the head as this.

No… Couldn’t be.

So this is it then: Victor’s final gambit.

He doesn’t even try to make a proper entrance this time, doesn’t even bother with the seduction. Just pops right up from under the surf before the human, launching himself onto the sand and scrabbling forward with his latest offering clenched between his teeth.

And the human _screams._

It’s hardly the reaction Victor was looking for, but he’s in too deep now. He wiggles himself even closer, to spit the gift at the human’s feet. “ _There_. Happy?”

The human—from where he’s curled himself up in a defensive position, as though Victor is on the hunt for him—reaches out a singular hand, to point down at the object. “That,” he says intelligently, “is a sword.”

“Yeah.” Victor would know, having had to dive down to one of the older shipwrecks to retrieve it. He’d even shined it up for the human, removed the sea-moss from its blade and hilt. “So is it enough now? Will you finally return my affections?”

“Your _what now?_ ”

Victor feels an eye twitch. Never before has he wanted more to slap someone across the face with the broad side of his fin. “My affections! I’ve been courting you for weeks now! Haven’t you noticed?”

“No!”

Victor splutters. “But—but the rocks and the preening and the romance—”  
  
“Is that what that was supposed to be?”

“If not, then _what else_?”

The human swallows, visibly. “I thought… I thought you were trying to get me to go away. Chase me off, make yourself look bigger and scarier… Aren’t mermaids supposed to be… you know… territorial?”

Victor looks at him, for a beat. “Not when we’re trying to _seduce you!_ ”

“Oh.” The human laughs, disjointedly. He at last unwinds himself, to brush errant grains of sand off his legs. “I, uh, well… I’m flattered, but… I think I’d make a poor mate.”

That’s enough to give Victor pause. He sits himself up, wags his tail behind him in a considering fashion. “What would make you think that?”

“I’m… ah…” The human looks up finally, with broad brown eyes that could swallow Victor whole. “… not pretty enough for you, I think?”

Victor’s heart nearly stops in his chest.

Oh, he’d picked _right._

He’d picked right, he’d picked right, he’d picked right—

He leans forward, to rest his hand against the human’s cheek. “That’s just not _true._ You’re beautiful inside and out. I’ve watched you walk the beach many a time with your little puppy-dog, play with him in the surf. You save scraps from your meals for the birds and cut up fishing nets whenever they wash ashore.”

The human’s face grows hot, beneath his fingers. “You saw all that?”

“Yes, and much more. You have lovely skin and soft, silky hair. You move like a dancer, even when there’s no music around to speak of. Can’t you see, darling, just how captivating you are?”

The human bites at his lower lip, becomingly. “You don’t… have any pretty mers you’d rather be with?”

Victor scoffs. “They’re all so _showy._ Shiny scales and nothing else. They think they can brush against you once behind the coral reef and you’re good as theirs. I’d rather—” Victor pauses, to run a hand along the skin of the human’s knee; the latter shivers, in what the former hopes is furtive delight. “I’d rather have someone of substance,” he finishes.

The human seems to consider this. He starts to reach out, then hesitates. Victor won’t allow that and helps him, guiding him by the hand where he wishes to go.

The human goes to his hair, ultimately. Victor isn’t surprised; it is one of his best features after all. The human strokes it, runs fingers through it in a soothing way.

It’s not something that mers typically dwell on.

“Oh—” The human draws back suddenly, at all once. Victor almost wants to cry from the loss. “All those—the rocks and the—those were _gifts._ ”

God, this human is dumb.

Dumb and _his._

“Yes.”

“Then… Then wait, hold on a sec.” He scrambles up and begins to run up the shore, before Victor even has a chance to call out after him. “Don’t move!” he says behind him. “I’ll be right back!”

Poutingly, Victor stays put.

“Right back” is a bit of a hyperbole; it takes quite a while for the human to return. But when he does, he’s huffing and puffing, with a string of something clenched in his hand from where he rests it intermittently against his thigh.

“It’s…” The human says finally, having again come upon Victor. He holds out the garland, and Victor gasps. “It’s a necklace I’ve been making, from shells collected on the beach here. I thought I’d, ah… leave it for you, as a peace offering. You know… when I thought you were trying to drive me off.”

It’s not very beautiful, by mermaid standards. Mers could go deep, find the prettiest shells down where they weren’t chipped or cracked by the churning of the tides. But it’s lovingly made and strung together by something much tougher than Victor could probably find in the whole of the sea.

“Will you put it on me?” Victor asks, uncharacteristically demure. He leans forward to showcase the long, pale column of his neck, gills fluttering a little with the motion.

The human flushes, clutching the necklace to his chest. “If—if you’d like.”

“I’d like that very much.”

The human wreaths him, as though in coronation.

Victor looks down at the present, rolling the shells between his fingers. Something sparkles, as he does so. “What’s that?”

“Oh, um—” The human leans down, to point out what was previously unseen. “It’s some crystal beading, from the craft store.”

Victor’s whole countenance lights up. “Land treasures?”

The human’s mouth twitches, like he’s trying not to laugh. “Uh, yeah, sure.”

“I love it!” Victor drops to the ground, to roll around and wriggle his fins in utter delight.

The human smiles down at him. “I’m glad.”

Victor suddenly bounds back up to grip at the human’s hands. “Oh, how could I be so gauche? I don’t even know your name!”

“It’s Yuuri,” Yuuri says.

“ _Yuuri._ ” It’s perfect. Soft and gentle, just like him. “Yuuuuuuuri!”  
  
“Yes?” Yuuri laughs.

“I’m Victor,” Victor says, “and starting today, I’m going to be your mate!”

Yuuri just laughs some more, like the pealing of little bells.

And they seal it with a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Idk, mers just... exist in this universe? It's normal? Everyone knows about it? Don't think too hard about it.
> 
> Anyway, happy mermay~


End file.
